Welcome to another weekend deviant mind-trip into the fifty-first state of the U.S., the Untied State of Insanity. Mwuhahahahha...
Let's go down to the lab shall we?
I'll regale you with a tale after we descend into the depths of utter absurdity and mayhem, starting with a lovely medley of two tunes for our trek from The Features. "Drawing Board." It's carnivalistic. (The second part is the best.)
The Features "Whatever Gets You By/Drawing Board" from Lake Fever Sessions on Vimeo.
Under advisement of counsel, I have been told to not release any videos of the interesting night I had that involve Bubbaloo (his nickname, not his real ID) and, I have to wade quite carefully through the following story that I promised you fellow TDCers. I'm sure that you understand.
But here is a video that you must never, ever click on.
Yes, it's me singing Happy Birthday to my lady. The Sushi Chef (and owner of Yoshi) Mike Yoshi found out it was my lady's birthday just when we were leaving, (everyone else was in their cars) and they closed the doors. He and his son served his famous carved fruit thing. Now don't be all judgmental about my pipes, ya bawstud. There was a lot of Sake involved...
Later on, when we were playing dice at my sis-in-law's home (her boy in the yellow shirt in the above vid was abed), some dude knocks at the door, holding a plastic shopping bag full of Budweiser cans in one hand, a half carton of Marlboro Reds in the other, and a shit-eating grin. He told me that he'd rolled his truck on Route 9, (twenty minutes away) and was looking for his buddy "Roy."
We told him where "Roy" used to live, and sent him on his way.
After an hour or so, dude comes back. "They wouldn't let me in!"
No shit. But guess who wanted to let him in this place? Yup. My lady. "I know you Bubbaloo! Come on in!"
(Omitted stuff)
The walk, out of my sis-in-law's home (an hour later) with Bannanaloo was quite interesting. My son had been speaking in our native language with this creepy dude all evening, (son being my tribe's language preservationist), but all I can speak of my native language are "Hello, how are you?" and other pleasantries, plus all the swear words.
What words do you remember from Spanish or French class in High School? You see what I mean. Only the funny words.
Bubbalingaloo seemed to get offended by my lack of responses other than "Hello" and "Shit!" and the sort, in the native tongue of these parts. He became agitated.
My lady suddenly had the impulse to announce her enjoyment of her birthday at the top of her lungs.
Bubbaloo's eyes went wide with shock. His mouth gaped, and I saw that his teeth looked the way that the bottom of a Bic lighter does when someone opens too many beer bottles with it.
He freaked out.
(omitted action verbs here)
Well, when one goes down face first into the gravel, mouth wide open, their next thought, (after one comes to, spitting out rocks) might be: What do rocks eat?
Too bad for him.
Kind of throws your perspective off, huh?
It was like a bad, recurring dream that I've had.
Here's a bad dream I'm glad that I've never had.
Buggaloony just wanted to be home, in bed, snuggling his pink bunny.
OK, Enough of that. I wanted it to be better, but it is what it is.
Antidote, for your kids or the young folks Bubbaloser might be holding captive in the cellar... Interactive video for them. Actually, this is quite well done.
Now for dessert.
It'll be X-Mas soon.
Get some gifts for the fam. These pics would be cool.
Here is a site to visit for thirty seconds, on a daily basis.
Here are some links from our good friend Kentucky Dave. Thank you Dave, for your support.
Be safe, and never let Bombaloony in your home.
God Help You. God Help Us All.
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