For WEAW January 9, 2010

I decided to write about my experience in quitting smoking. I only smoked at night, not during the day. So, quite possibly, I could have averted the cravings by going to sleep right after work. But actually, the withdrawals began to affect each waking moment.

To wit:

Welcome to the Weekend At Willies Edition of The Daily Column.



Here’s a check-off list for you.

1. Comfy seat
2. Internet is connected (whosever it is)
3. Computer is all warmed up and idling
4. Snuggie
5. Coffee/ frosty cold beverage/ other intoxicant
6. Cigarettes. Aww.... Wicked bummah chummy. Well anyways, get your shit together and we’ll go for a walk.

Ready? Turn this mutha up and let’s go.



Ahhh. Lemmy. Gobless ya. One thing about ol’ Lemmy is that he still parties on like he was 18. He still looks about the same, as well. Gnarly, hairy face with the three big Lemmy warts, his breakfast of whiskey and ciggies, and non-stop draankin till the next morning. But I ain’t no Lemmy.

One thing about cigarettes, they sure are hard to give up. I miss ‘em, even though they smell like ass and taste like shit. Nothing like that first puff…mmmmHm…. Head rush.

Well, first thing you know, everyone starts to act like a dumbass, I mean, more than usual. They drive like a dumbass, they ask dumbass questions, and they even look at you with their big moon faces, just pissing you off. Dumbasses.

So that is where I was until a friend in the forum recommended the Patch. Thanks JMiller. You probably saved a dozen dumbasses from imminent doom. Suddenly, everyone stopped trying to piss me off each moment, the sun came out, birds were landing on my shoulders like fucking Disney, and I didn’t smoke.

Saved money on ammo, too.

Got some links for ya. Ca you tell which ones I found before I put the patch on?

This is the worst video and song I’ve ever seen and heard.

Here are the top 12 most fascinating astronomy articles of 2009.

This guy needs to stop showing the hell off and making the rest of us who are trying to get healthy feel bad. He climbs rock walls. He climbs them sidways, upsidedown, and with dance moves.


Monkeyman: Extreme Climber

Diagonal View | MySpace Video

(From site: )

Just don't fall. Like, 200 feet down the wall. And survive? Dumbass. Fix your damn clothes dryer, bitch.

Don't get fooled by this guy who slipped off the ladder, now hanging from the gutter. One of ten of the worst Xmas decorations, now that you've taken yours down. You've taken them down, haven't you? Dumbass.

Dude hates Pachelbel. Can't blame him.


Got some extra cash? Why not stack it and use a laser to etch art out of it? Yeah, go fu-


Ten top cities in the world with the most beautiful women. Like this is real, right? Dumbass who wrote this.


Just be careful when you visit strange lands. In Dubai, you can get arrested for being raped. You should be married to the rapist first. Dumbasses over there.

Hack some stops. This is pretty asinine.

Sleeping Bear Bag. Pretty gay.


Marco is ok. His blog.


Check out this fish with the see-through head. What a dumbass fish.


Mmmmm....Roll your own. Snowballs that is. They roll themselves in Britland.


Now I gotta walk. Help take my mind off cigarettes. Miss ya, lil honeys.



Se ya on Sunday for a Sideshow.

---willies out.